Wireless?

I love all the wireless technology that is out there. Portland is wireless, McMenamins is wireless, Starbucks is wireless (not free of course), our house is wireless, most hotels are wireless, and airports are wireless. I hear that God is the original pioneer in wireless cdommunication. It is great being able to get a connection anywhere without wires, cords, or cables.

Yet for all the wireless technology we have in the 21st Century, those Little People play sets have more wires than the rest of the country. Oh yeah, at first I liked it. “Hey,” I thought, “plastic coated wires—I can use these to tie up cables rather than those bread twist ties that break easily. These are eve better than rubber bands.” So I thought until last Christmas when every toy was “Little People.” Fortunately I was given a pair of wire cutters for Christmas, which I opened first, and was able to easily disassemble the wires that held each people, part, and object in the package. I remember mentioning this in my sermon last year and wondering why Fisher Price worried about people stealing each part of the product. Were they thinking someone would steal a “Little Person” out of each package?

Someone came up after the sermon and claimed that the product was made in Taiwan and they wanted to make sure that everything stayed in exactly the same position in the overseas shipment. Sounded good to me.

So here we are in Kansas City at the Plaza staying in a hotel. Lori’s dad has been in ICU for 5 days and Santa had to find us at a hotel in the Plaza. Here I was without my wire cutters. Even worse, now they put glue on the end of the wires, after they twist tie them 150 times, so that my fingers are raw from pulling the glue off. Don’t tell me they do this to keep the people in the same position in the package. It’s a toy; for crying out loud. Pablo and Uniqua stand in an imaginary boat, and all they do is go in for a snack when the ship sinks.

My solution—I think they do this to mess with us. Sure they are not charging a lot for the toy and I give them that. So how do they get even, they make parents rub their fingers raw while the kids are saying—“Is it ready yet?” Then we go to the next toy and work that one. Sadly, most of our kids play with them for 5 minutes and then spend the next hour playing with the wrapping paper or the cardboard box. I think I am ready for a nap by the end of the day, not them.

Next year—Fisher Price—please be like the rest of the world and go “wireless”!

Merry Christmas to all the frustrated parents out there. Be glad we have fingers, wires, and each other.