Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Real Men Don't Kiss?

I kiss all my boys. My boys don't hesitate to kiss me--well, Nathan not so much now. I guess that is OK. But I've never been ashamed to show affection to them.

I grew up with a dad who didn't show affection. He never kissed us, that I can remember (although he did kiss my mom a lot--at least before they were divorced). I can't remember him ever hugging us. My brother is divorced and is not affectionate.

I chose not to be. I don't blame my dad. It wasn't because he was an athiest--he got beat as a kid and did well for how his parents mistreated him. My brother has done the best he could for how he was raised. My dad told him he had hated him since he was 5 (he said this when Geoff was 14). My only fist fight with my dad was when he hit my brother with a rake. I told him I was going to kick his *** and I just about did.

So I started this fatherhood thing with some baggage--and I still struggle with it. However, I always said I wouldn't be afraid to show affection. Jesus brought forgiveness and healing to my life and my father wound. God has been my role model as a father (and sometimes mother). Seems to be working so far. I think our kids can easily forgive us if they know they can hug us safely.

1 comment:

Greg Taylor said...

My dad kissed me when I was growing up. I kiss my son. He is also very affectionate to me and his mother and sisters. I believe in this exchange of affection between fathers and sons is an important part of development and expression of love. Thank you, Ron, for talking about this.