Parental Pride Party and Our Kids' Spiritual afFormation

Carolyn Anderson's excellent New Wineskins article on the spiritual formation of children prompted me to post a column I wrote for the August 23, 2002 edition of the Abilene Reporter-News:

Our small group at church has been studying Christian parenting every Wednesday evening since September and recently came to the conclusion that we don’t tell our kids often enough just how proud of them we are and why.

So a couple of weeks ago, six pairs of parents gathered in our living room to tell our 15 children — ages 2 through 9 — exactly that, a “parental blessing,” if you will.

I really didn’t know what to expect since the gathering was the brainchild of our small group leader, and he had planned the itinerary. And I confess I had my doubts about having that many little ones tearing through the house. Some of them are real tornadoes — and two of them are mine!

Together we gobbled down a potluck dinner in which every family had contributed ingredients for curry chicken. The kids played together for a while, as they always do. Then we collected everyone.

Each dad read a short scripture that has special meaning for him when he’s interacting with his kids. Every reading was different, and each one gave a little more insight about that family.

Because our two children are adopted, I read from Romans 8 and told them that not only is the whole creation on the edge of its seat waiting for God’s adoption, but that I’m sure he is, too — because I know how their mom and I felt, waiting for those two calls from our adoption agency.

Each parent, in turn, told each of his or her children one or two reasons we are so proud of them, right there in front of their friends and family. Every kid beamed when hugged and kissed and given a simple white ribbon that said “#1 Kid.” The reasons were as varied as the kids’ natures and interests. It took a while — 45 minutes or more.

There was a little squirming, but for the most part the children were riveted by the events.

Parents expressed pride in athletic and academic achievement … in hobbies and interests … in sweet natures and curiosity and compassion.

The youngest one — a precious little blond-curled toddler — gave her daddy extra pride “because she’s always singing happy little songs about Jesus.” When she heard that, she giggled and did a little dance of joy.

We briefly thanked God for them and prayed his blessing on them throughout their whole lives. Then we let them go play together again. (While romping, one 7-year-old girl fell on our sidewalk and knocked out two loose front teeth. We all scoured the walk for the missing teeth so the Tooth Fairy wouldn’t pass her by.)

Nobody complained that it took too long. None of the kids asked how they could all be “#1 Kid.”

Maybe curry chicken isn’t your taste. Maybe you could do without the prayer and the scripture. Maybe six or seven families and 15 kids are too many for your house.

But I can’t help but think that every family would feel as uplifted as we did, just by getting together with a few dear friends and having a little parental pride party for the kids.

Cross-Shattered Christ: Reflection on "The Seventh (and Final) Word"

"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit" (Luke 23:46).

Stanley Hauerwas ends his 102-page book with this invitation: "So come, draw near, fear not, and behold the mystery and wonder of Jesus's cross."

What leads up to this point is a final reflection on the seventh word of Jesus. The final prayer of Jesus, like much of his life, is a direct conversation with the Father. "My Father" is one of Jesus' most-uttered phrases in John. Now, here on the cross Jesus again speaks to his Father and gives the ultimate trusting word. My life is in your hands.

Only through Jesus' laying his life in the hands of the Father can we do so. We join Jesus in his death and resurrection because Jesus at this moment trusted the Father enough to lay down his life and face hell and mysteries of the world he entered on Friday and Saturday that we'll never fully understand on this side of eternity.

Hauerwas points out that since Jesus has done this great work, he can say in Revelation 1:17-18, "Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and the living one. I was dead, and see, I am alive forever and ever; and I have the keys of Death and of Hades."

The person of Christ (that he took on our humanity) and the work of Christ (that he gave his life willingly to the Father) allow us to join him in his life, death, resurrection. "By giving himself up and commending his spirit to the Father," Hauerwas says, "Jesus invites and enables us to give ourselves up and become 'united with him in a death like his' (Romans 6:5)."

Jesus died so that we join with Israel, with the church worldwide in the hope that death is not the final word. Hauerwas quotes Christopher Seitz, who says God has become for us death, destroying "whatever gap we might have suspected existed between God and his complete disclosure of himself to us."

Thank you for joining me in these seven reflections on Stanley Hauerwas's Cross-Shattered Christ:Mediations on the Seven Last Words.--Greg Taylor

Eleven-year-olds talking about denominations

Ashley, our eleven-year-old, had a sleepover, and the next morning the girls were talking around the island in the kitchen.

Ashley to her friend Kira: "Is your church Baptist or a Christ Church, or what?"

Kira: "It's not a denomination." Kira attends a community church.

In the other room, I had been talking to the mom of Heidi, another friend of Ashley's, and they attend a different church, called Community Bible Church. We walked into the kitchen and the girls got quiet, as eleven-year-olds often do when adults enter, like the animals stop talking when people appear in the old Far Side cartoons.

Me: "Talking religion in here, girls? Do you know what denomination means?"

The eleven-year-olds all shrugged or nodded their heads no.

Me: "It basically means a particular church group or organization of churches. All three of you girls attend non-denominational churches." I could tell I'd lost them at hello.

Heidi's mom: "The Church of Christ is a denomination."

I just smiled and asked if the girls had everything before they left. When Kira's mother arrived, I told her about the conversation. She looked puzzled. She had no idea the church of Christ had been a "non-denominational" unity movement.

Ashley is a fifth generation member of the non-denominational churches of Christ. Kira and Heidi both attend community churches. Who flipped the script on the Restoration Movement? The non-denominational unity and Christ-centered, Bible-reading, and Christian-name-wearing legacy of restoration lives on in tens of thousands of churches and many varieties worldwide.

But many people in these churches--anecdotally, at least these two families--are not aware of this legacy in the churches of Christ.

Cross-Shattered Christ: Reflection on "The Sixth Word"

It is finished (John 19:30)

A quarter of the world’s population witnessed the funeral of the pope . . . I woke at 3 a.m. to watch with them . . . the pope’s last words may have been, “be not afraid” . . . when Terry Schiavo died, we heard no audible last words . . . famous last words . . . Jesus’ last words spoken on the cross as recorded in John were, “It is finished.” Other Gospels, Jesus says, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”

A shocking realization came over me recently when I realized something simple yet profound: the seven words of Christ on the cross were prayers.

For a few minutes this morning, I want us to reflect on the word of Christ, “It is finished.”

First, read the passage with the prayer, “Open not just my ears but all my senses this morning to your word.”

John 19:28-30

Jesus, seeing that everything had been completed so that the Scripture record might also be complete, then said, "I'm thirsty."

[29] A jug of sour wine was standing by. Someone put a sponge soaked with the wine on a javelin and lifted it to his mouth. [30] After he took the wine, Jesus said, "It's done . . . complete." Bowing his head, he offered up his spirit.

The human spirit yearns to finish, to be finished, to be done.

Was Christ talking about the end of his suffering that day? Like a man competing in an Ironman race? Or was he talking about something more cosmic and apocalyptic? Was this that last gasp that Matthew and Mark record, that great cry before he died, and what does it mean? Was it merely a famous last word or does it mean something life-shaping to us?

In Uganda when something was used up, they said "it is finished." If you ordered chicken at a restaurant and the supplier hadn’t shown up that day on his bicycle with five live chickens tied to the back of his bicycle because he had to attend a funeral for his neighbor who died with AIDS, the waiter would come back and say, “the chicken, it is finished.” He might offer the aforementioned explanation if pressed.

So when my friend Oneka, who has HIV, hears the words of Jesus on the cross in English at least, he hears that life has been totally emptied. Nothing left. Africans, as do American Indians, often describe or name things by their actions. Dances with Wolves. In Africa, AIDS is often called SLIMs, a reference to the emaciated state of the dying. What would be the last words of the dying in Africa? Perhaps, "Life is emptied."

Prayer, said one saint, should be uttered as if you will die when the prayer is over. It is finished.

This word, one of seven of the classic words of Jesus from the cross, is simply put, a prayer. We often consider the prayer of Jesus in Gethsemane as his last prayer . . . he prayed in the greatest crisis, in terror and pain: Father forgive them. I thirst. Behold your mother. Behold your son. Into your hands I commit my spirit. It is finished.

What if we prayed this ourselves today? Lord and Father, the work you have done is finished. Now, send your servant into the world to proclaim it. What if our prayers were more urgently about the mission of God and less about our missing life or some privilege we think we deserve? As if life itself were teetering on the razor’s edge? Would we then be praying closer to the kingdom prayers than those “please God” prayers and “give me” prayers?

What if we prayed, “I am finished.” Religion is finished. Racism is finished. Subjugation of women is finished. My selfishness is finished. Sin is finished. Suffering is finished. Is it over? No, but it’s finished, emptied of its power by Christ on the cross who finished the work the Father sent him to do. It is finished.

Draw near to the cross and hear his words. The work that Christ came to do is finished, but as Hauerwas says, it's not over. It continues in us as the finished people of God. Creation’s end and consummation is Christ himself becoming human and suffering in every way as man. Only through him do we become “the finished,” the body of Christ.

Cancer can not undo us, neither can disappointment or fear. A child who strays cannot bring our faith to ruin. It is finished. Christ will draw all men and he will draw your child who seems to be running away. Church splits cannot undo us. It is finished. We are the done. Divorce and hate-filled emails and phone calls from the ex-spouse cannot unravel us. We are the finished, the body of Christ. We may feel undone at times, unfinished and certainly God is not through with us. It’s finished but it is not over . . .

It’s not over and we are witnesses to the beauty and power of the coming kingdom that we see with finished eyes by faith. Marantha, come Lord Jesus. It is finished. It is finished. It is finished.

The Spiritual Formation of a Pope

A lot of folks these days are wondering and looking into how a pope is elected.

I wonder how a pope is made. Reading about John Paul's young life and training and early career as a priest is interesting, and solidifies my impression about his integrity within the culture of the church in which he was reared.

But how does a pope deal with the question of papal infallibility, knowing what goes on in his own heart; what has gone on in the hearts and lives and edicts of his predecessors? Because - and I'm using New Advent's definition linked above - it is the infallibility of doctrinal interpretation that is at the heart of the question.

How does a pope maintain his humility in the face of being regarded as such? How does he shoulder the burden of this infallibility when the papal robes are placed upon him? The implication is that while he may do wrong, he cannot say wrong on the matter of doctrine.

How intensely does he study - both the Bible and his own church's history, for he must conform to both - and prayerfully approach the answer to all of the new questions that arise from tumultuous change in sociology, biology, technology, politics ... even weather? Knowing that whatever he says will be regarded by the better part of a billion people as the very utterance of God?

Does he pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit in such matters? Do millions of his flock pray with him for it?

Does God grant their petition?

I'm not intentionally trying to cloud the distinction between papal infallibility, revelation and inspiration that Catholics perceive. It's tough, though, because they are integrally related. And they must have a profound impact on the one chosen as pope.

We non-Catholics tend to be skeptical of such a core belief as doctrinal infallibility.

But I also wonder - and it's easy for me to wonder, since I don't have a pulpit - do the ministers and preachers among us feel that same burden when they step up to the lectern or visit a hospital bed or sit in on an elder's meeting? Do they pray constantly that each word they proclaim is the very word of God? Do we, their various flocks, pray with them for the guidance of His Spirit?

As members of a universal priesthood, do we pray for that kind of infallibility for ourselves?

"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." - Matthew 5:48

What place does the pope have in lives of non-Catholics?

What place does the pope have in the lives of non-Catholics?

Though I’ve lived through three papacies, Pope John Paul II has defined what a pope is and does for a billion Catholics and for the rest of the world. He was very conservative on most issues but no other pope had traveled and perhaps few others had advocated for the poor like he did. He traveled to 129 countries. When he visited Africa, many non-Catholics wanted to see him, hear him say, "Do not be afraid."

Pope John Paul II set the tone for how widely a modern pope is expected to travel and bring a message of hope and love for humanity through Jesus Christ. He did not stand down against leaders, from Reagan to Bush, on the call for peace. He is credited for a major role in the fall of communism and the movement in Poland. Yet, he also perpetuated a hard-line role against contraception, even as a protector against HIV, which gravely impacts poor nations in their fight against AIDS. He also remained firm on celibacy and unmarried priesthood, which many believe should change, particularly in light of the sex scandal of the American Catholic Church.

I was not raised to revere or honor the pope. Too much of the priesthood of all believers, calling no one “father” and perhaps influence of democracy had surged through my veins to think much about the pope. I was not even “Protestant,” those who protested against Rome and how they were raising money for the Vatican by charging indulgences for absolution of sin and eternal damnation and other corruption. I came from a “free” church. Free of hierarchy, free to choose (sounds more like economics), free to interpret Scripture (as long as it fit within certain pre-set and unwritten parameters).

Twenty-six years ago, my memory of the choosing of Pope John Paul II was the smoke billowing out of the Vatican near the Sistine Chapel where the Cardinals were meeting for the Conclave. Then, several years into the papacy of John Paul II, I went to Italy and visited several cities, including Rome. The Vatican is one of the most jaw-dropping places in the world. Walking into St. Peter’s Basilica and the amazement of seeing Michelangelo’s Pieta grows in me still today, eighteen years later. Again, I was pre-disposed to dismiss the extravagance of religious iconography. At the time, I was only nineteen and though taking art appreciation, I was yet to appreciate art as Spiritual, as I am learning to do now. My wife, Jill, also traveled to Italy with Harding University in Florence program. She, however, saw Pope John Paul II.

Yesterday, Jill gathered our children around her scrapbook (she had not pulled it out in years) and showed them the photo she had taken when the pope walked past her in St. Peter’s. Our children want to know why the pope is so important, why all the attention is on his death right now. We talked about how he's the leader of one billion people, their church, and he is in the line of many who have decided important things about what Christians have believed about Jesus and his mission. Yet, we temper it with our own understanding of the priesthood of all believers, the message of Hebrews, the way we are shepherded by loving elders in our lives today. Though we are not "told" what to believe by the pope, his office has still influenced what we believe over the years and I would venture to say, still does. His stands make a difference to many beyond the Catholic faith, in what they come to believe for themselves. Here is the photo Jill took of John Paul II in 1987 in St. Peter's Basilica.

A few years ago I took a course that centered on Historical Theology. That means the study of doctrines as they have emerged through Christian history. For the first time, I considered the importance of theological decisions, good and bad, of important leaders in the church over the last two millennia. For the first time I came to grips with the idea that perhaps the Catholic Church’s concern for accurately and theologically interpreting Scripture was at its heart, like mine, but lived out and structured much differently. One central role of the pope through the ages has been to safeguard doctrine.

The Catholic Church and the Church Fathers developed much of the understanding that many of us take for granted today: for example, the doctrine of Jesus Christ, that he is God and man, that he was not created but that all was created through him. Yes, Scripture on who Jesus may seem clear to us today, but remember that Scripture was not widely distributed and translated into many languages until after the Reformation. Many centuries of debate, martyrdom and struggle came over this belief about the Christ.

This is not a thesis in support of hierarchy or non-Catholics following the pope, but it is an exercise in thinking through how the church through the ages, and today, has influenced and continues to influence us, both negatively and positively.

Living God's Love - Conversation Six Point Five

To make the numbers again correspond with chapters of Living God's Love, I'm calling this one six point five. This is for chapter six, "Being with our Beloved."

We are not living a more complicated day than our forebears who lived through the Civil War, nor are we more busy than those in the sixties who were fighting for civil rights. We don't have less time than Alexander Campbell or Martin Luther, one of which or both, I can't remember said they had so much to do in the day that they couldn't help but spend only a few hours in prayer.

So this chapter is for us. Those of us who need to slow down, be silent, still and not only know God is but that we are not God. To be still this morning in my bedroom and say, "God, I am your son and you are my Father" shapes me. Being still and silent and "wasting time" with God reminds me, as Lavender and Holloway say, that God is in charge of the universe and I am not.

There's something of the life in God that calls for fruitfulness, but I'm not so sure fruitfulness in the terms Jesus speaks of in John 15, the vine, is the same as productivity defined by a market-driven society.

This chapter also speaks of several ways to pray silently, breath prayers, and examen. By way of explanation of one of these, I want to offer here an article that Jackie L. Halstead wrote for Wineskins in Summer 2003. It's worth reprinting here in our blog for those who missed it. In fact, our archive is full of good content for people who missed it the first go round. If you are not a subscriber, you're missing out on a lot of good articles. The $19.95 each year is what you spend on Starbucks in a month or probably less than what you spend on cable for a month! Subscribe

Examen
by Jackie L. Halstead

For one raised in a conservative church, I have struggled with being grateful to God. I was told that I must be thankful for my blessings and to be careful to live right or I would not go to heaven. This perception continued through my adult years when I became aware of the magnitude of God’s grace. The reward is not just in the great by and by but is today and every day. With this realization, gratitude made more sense. My focus shifted from what I have to do to be saved to what God does for me and how I can give Him glory because of who He is and because of the way He cares for me.

Gratitude does not always come easily, however. It must be deliberate and attended to on a continual basis. How does one attain this focus? Some are blessed with the cup-is-half-full mentality, but for the rest of the world, there are practices with which we can develop a grateful heart. One such practice is called Examen. It was brought to Christendom by an ex-soldier named Ignatius. He had done and seen everything in this world and was weary of life. When he was experiencing his darkest moment, he made a decision to become a soldier for the Lord. His life was changed so dramatically that he dedicated himself to service to God and spent his life demonstrating and teaching others to demonstrate how grateful they were to God. Examen became a regular practice of the Catholic church, and in the order of Jesuit priests in particular. They used this exercise of gratitude in their daily routine and prayers and in time taught it to their parishioners. One way to practice Examen involves asking oneself two simple questions:

“For what am I most grateful?”
“For what I am least grateful?”

The first question elicits what Ignatius referred to as consolations and the second, desolations. These questions can be asked on a regular basis, alone or with others. As one keeps track of the consolations and desolations over time, patterns begin to emerge. We are able to identify acts/situations that bring us life, through looking at the consolations. As we pour our energies into these happenings, we experience the abundance of life God has promised. This promotes a grateful heart. When focusing on desolations, we see patterns that take life from us. This shows us areas we either need to avoid or address and change.

Examen can be practiced in a multitude of ways. The most simple way is to identify consolations and desolations each day. It is best to keep these short and focus on the highlights. The form of the questions can vary. In addition to the questions regarding most and least grateful, one can ask, “At what times did I feel most loved?” and “When did I feel least loved?” Another is “How was I most blessed today?” and “What was a struggle for me today?” The important factor is that the questions help you tune in to what gives you life and what takes life from you, and to recognize God’s involvement in that process. For example, as I kept track of my consolations and desolations, a pattern that emerged was that I need times of stillness. At those times I am able to slow my busy pace and be aware of God’s presence. It is difficult to set aside times for this stillness with my Type A personality.

I know, however, that these times give me life. I also realized that I am least grateful for those times when I have taken on more than I can handle. I do not feel I am giving anything my full attention. As I became aware of this, I realized that I need to focus on limiting my activities. In other words, I learned that even though there are so many wonderful opportunities for ministry, if I try to do everything, I am drained of life. I do not feel grateful to God, instead I feel overwhelmed. Therefore as I follow these insights I become more aware of God’s blessing and the manner in which He can best use me. I am doing the things that bring me life and feel a thankfulness and gratitude toward God. To put it simply, if something brings you life, do more of it. If it takes life away from you, do less of it.

Another way to practice Examen is with others. It can be experienced as a family. When we began the process, our daughters were ages three and seven years. At our evening meal, we shared our best and worst for the day. This not only helped us think of and share how we were grateful, but also facilitated discussion of problems, of which we as parents were at times unaware. It also helped us as parents share the ways God had blessed us and let the girls see that we had struggles even as adults. The sharing of consolations and desolations is now more sporadic, and it typically occurs when I say good night. The topics have become more complex—as they are in high school and middle school—but it still serves to help our family emphasize how God brings life and how He walks with us when we struggle.

Examen can be used in a myriad of ways in one’s profession or with friends. I train marriage and family therapists. Part of my role is supervision of interns as they learn to counsel. At our weekly meeting we share our consolations and desolations as part of supervision. The semester always begins with some hesitancy as they share, but by the end of the fifteen weeks, the group has become close. I give them the list of consolations and desolations that I have recorded each week to help them identify things that bring them life and challenges that drain life from them.

Finally, Examen can be used to help in decision-making. It helped me in my decision to go into academia. I recognized that teaching adults was a consolation for me. I felt energized and full of life when I had an opportunity to lead a discussion or teach a class. This understanding was useful as I made the decision to go back to school in order to teach at the college level.

Examen emphasizes the way God blesses us and how He allows us to struggle. As we all know, God has not promised us a life without challenges. However, He uses these as opportunities to bring glory to himself and refine us for a closer walk with him. When we have a grateful heart despite the trials of life, like Paul we can say, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11, NIV).

For more on Examen see the book, Sleeping with Bread: Holding on to What Gives Us Life, by Matt Linn, Dennis Linn, and Sheila Fabricant-Linn.

Gushing about Living God's Love - Conversation Seven

Please excuse me while I gush about the book I've been writing about, chapter by chapter, Living God's Love . . .

I want everyone I know and don't know to read this book. Like the waves of the ocean, my desire to read devotional literature, and frankly, have a quiet time, has ebbed and flowed. Living God's Love speaks so warmly, practically, and yet prophetically and sharply at times to awaken my desire to live this incredible life with God.

Holloway and Lavender wisely lay out in chapter five the model of Jesus praying and practical ways to pray. And here's where our conversations cross paths with the reflections on Hauerwas's Cross-Shattered Christ: rather than stopping at the model prayer or those few examples of Jesus going to solitary places to pray, Holloway and Lavender also reflect on the words of Jesus on the cross.

And this is powerful to me as I see these two books come together to show me something I had not "seen" before: the seven last words of Jesus on the cross are prayers. Jesus is praying in the most cosmic and epic conflict of his life.

The most poignant and gripping scene in The Passion--aside from Jesus saying to Mary, "I make all things new" . . . but the most biblically accurate--is Jesus saying in Aramaic in a way I'd never heard it, "Elihi, Elihi lema sabachthani?" "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Yesterday's reflections say more about this but today it is a gripping realization to see this and Christ's other words spoken on the cross as prayers.

This, I will think about periodically today and perhaps in times of crisis that come the rest of my life.

I'll leave the practical side for you to read in the book. This book ought to be your small group's or Bible class's next book to read and study. Taken seriously, this God-life and how they present it and practically apply it, will overwhelm and transform you and your community. Order Living God's Love